


Breaking Barriers

by gr8escap



Series: Outer Peace [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Service Dogs, seizure disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 00:57:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9266642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gr8escap/pseuds/gr8escap





	

Her apartment was dark, with the exception of her ringing phone lighting up her room, and the small light she left on in the kitchen. Karrie looked at Dizzy who was stretched out at her side, close enough to the edge of her bed that his head dangled over and she felt compelled to pull him back, in case gravity took over and he slid off the mattress. It wasn’t a flight of fancy, it had happened before.

“Hello?” She said cautiously, not recognizing the number.

“Hi, Karrie?” She thought she recognized the voice, her sleep addled brain made putting the pieces together a slow process.

“Sam? Sam from the VA right?”

“That’s right. Hey, I’m sorry to call so late, Bucky was worried about shining you on for the appointment, so he made me promise to call. He’s, well he’s being treated, and he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to make your appointment. He said to tell you he’d try.”

Karrie didn’t have to ask why, “He had a seizure?”

“Sure did, he’s having some problems bouncing back, so Steve’s insisted that he be monitored. He thinks he’ll be able to get away in time, but Steve’s being overbearing – Bucky’s words, not mine.”

“Is he in the hospital? I mean – you haven’t said hospital. Does someone like Steve or Bucky _go_ to the hospital?”

“They’ve got a specialist who’s monitoring him from home, it’s all Avenger nonsense.” Sam made Karrie smile with his dismissive attitude.

“Aren’t you one of the nonsensical Avengers?”

“I use a wing pack; I don’t actually have any special genetic modification. I go to a regular VA Doc and I get my usual lecture.”

“Ok. Sam? Tell Bucky not to worry about the appointment. Tell him that I’ll reschedule because I’d like him there. I don’t think I can do it without him, but I want him to let the doctor take care of him first.”

“He told me to offer to come along, that way he can kick me out when he shows up just in time.”

“He would.” Karrie smiled against her will. She wasn’t sure why she was so worried about Bucky, but since she’d started opening up to him, she found herself thinking about the last time she saw him, even then, not bouncing back from his last seizure. “Sam? What does all this mean? How many seizures has he had recently? He had one the other day, and wasn’t recovering as well as he’d expected then either.”

“That’s why Steve’s so adamant. He’s supposed to be taking medication to stop the seizures, but he was told that the serum is repairing the damage, and the drugs are counteracting his recovery. But if he has a serious one,”

“No use saying he’s stubborn. I’ve heard that argument before. Can’t someone stop him from endangering his life?”

“You’re welcome to give it a try. My tough love hasn’t helped. Captain America is Disappointed isn’t the right approach either. He wants it gone, so he’s taking his chances.”

“You didn’t say how many he’s had, just the two? Not that that’s a small number in the small space of time.”

“One yesterday, and one what? The day before you saw him last?”

“Yeah. I don’t suppose he’d be too keen on seeing me?”

“I don’t think he’d mind, he’s gonna be preoccupied for a bit, how ‘bout you go see him if he can’t make the appointment, and I’ll go with you. I know it’s not the same, but I can be pretty supportive.”

“I appreciate the offer, I know you mean it, even if he did ask. I just…”

“Keep your appointment. It’ll give you both something to focus on, but expect me to be there in case he can’t.”

She looked at her stump, cringing, typically she’d be irritated by the bossy words coming through the phone. She wasn’t though, she was just confused. She wanted to go, to start the process on a quality, fitted prosthesis, but she really felt like she needed Bucky there.

“You know what Sam? You and Bucky give compelling arguments, but this isn’t a ‘do or die’ situation, I’ll reschedule and come and see him. Thanks for being forceful, but it’s not about me this time.”

“I knew that would be your answer. I should have put money on it.” She thought she heard humor in his voice. “I’ll text you the address, give him a few hours.”

“Is it ok if I bring coffee for you and Steve, and some herbal tea for him?”

“That would be nice.” Sam recognized the drink order and nodded his approval. He looked at Steve, who was rubbing his tired eyes. “Coffee for me and Steve would be very nice too. Thank you Karrie.”

…

“Jesus Sam. I asked you…”

“Listen, I tried to insist, she made her own choices – you don’t want to deprive her of making a choice do you? Stop being so headstrong. If you can’t be convinced to take care of your damned self, you can’t judge someone for making their own health choices.”

“Right.” Bucky lay back against the sofa arm, looking at Sam through one eye. “Sorry.”

“Headache still?” Sam asked the obvious.

“Yeah, could you pull the shade? This is really getting old.”

“There’s a treatment for this – you know that right?”

“You’re starting to sound like Steve. If I wanted that, he’d still be here.” Bucky complained. He knew he was alienating people left and right, but he felt like shit, more for missing the appointment he’d promised to go along to, but also because his head was holding him hostage.

He hadn’t told Steve or Sam that he’d had a small series of seizures while they were discussing his stubbornness. He’d recognized two seizures, and he knew that Porthos had also reacted to a third. He was going to have to teach the dog to alert Steve or Sam, and he was going to have to explain to them how to recognize Porthos’ attentions until that training could happen. All of which meant he was going to have to come clean with them about the simple partial seizures.

“He’ll be back before you know it, princess.” Sam warned.

“You think if I texted Karrie – she’d change her mind?”

“I don’t know, she doesn’t seem to hate you as much. That’s a common theme around you, you know? People not hating you as much as they used to.”

“Speaking from experience birdman?”

“Oh. Scathing.” Sam chuckled.

“I’m compromised, I get a pass.” Bucky frowned. “I’m losing business, and can’t even take my own dogs out, when will Captain Problematic lift the sanction?”

“I’ll take your dogs out, they like me. As for your business, you get sick days. You have someone covering, and your clients aren’t going to be neglected.”

“You lost me at my dogs like you. Those little traitors.” Bucky looked at Sam through the fringe of his bangs. “You’ve been bribing them behind my back haven’t you?”

“Guilty. Oh look, Captain Problematic has returned. My cue to take the dogs out. One at a time?”

“Yeah, take Porthos first, he’s been vigilant and can use a break.”

“Captain Problematic? Really Buck?”

“You’ve imprisoned me here, you’re part of the problem.”

“You really mean that?” Steve’s face fell.

“I’m sorry. I’m shit as a patient. I’m scared Steve.”

“That was unexpected.” Steve said, sitting next to Bucky on the couch. “What’s going on?”

“I had three small seizures that I wasn’t going to tell you about, but you need to know. I need to train Porthos to alert you, even with the simple partial seizures. I need you to know what to look for, in case they are followed by a big deal.”

“Why weren’t you going to say something?”

“I’m feeling bitter about being here. I feel guilty about bailing on Karrie. I wanted to be better off than I am, and I wanted to convince you to let me follow through with Karrie’s appointment. Telling you about three insignificant seizures wouldn’t have gotten me any of those things.”

“But it could have gotten you in a shitty situation.” Steve frowned, “how insignificant were they?”

“Some muscular twitches. If it hadn’t caused me to spill my tea, I might not have noticed the one. Porthos was more diligent than I was.”

“You’re still committed to this?” Steve’s resigned tone was different from his battle mode.

“Yeah, I think – I mean – yes. Dammit I can have them for the rest of however damned long I wind up living, or maybe they can go away. I don’t just want to keep medicating if the serum is actually working. If it weren’t, I’d definitely take the meds I’m not anti-medication, I’m not anti-maintenance, I have a cure in sight Steve.”

“I know, but you also have a possibly shortened life full of seizures in sight Buck. One big one, that’s what you said.”

“I think it was dramatized. I don’t think that’s real.”

“Why are you scared?”

“Oh fuck you.” Bucky moaned.

“Nice talk.” Karrie said from the doorway. “Sam said to let myself in, you sound like me.”

“Hey.” Bucky moved to sit up, the headache making him struggle.

“Hey yourself. Don’t get up.” Karrie sat on the coffee table, “So you’re lying about instead of doing what you said you’d do.”

“You’re here without Dizzy, and you decided to come without your prosthetic to rub it in.”

“Dizz is outside with Sam, sometimes I go without. Sometimes I just do.” She shook her head. “Nice of you to bring it up.”

“No it wasn’t” Bucky admitted. “You brought coffee?”

“Yeah, one-handed.” Karrie smirked, “Linked Diz to my belt and carried that drink holder like the badass that I am.”

“Who are you and what did you do with the grouchy bitch that couldn’t shorten her dog’s name or smile?”

“I think you deflated her ego,” Karrie admitted. “I’m not going to join the ranks of “are you trying to kill yourself” but are you ok?”

“Steve! She’s been invaded by pod people.” Bucky complained, not recognizing any of Karrie’s finer qualities. “Everything would have been fine until it asked me if I was ok.”

“You're being a jerk,” Steve said, only barely suppressing a chuckle. “Thanks for the coffee Karrie. Buck is off caffeine for now.”

“I know, I brought him herbal tea, honey and lemon. Same as mine. They’re marked.” Karrie tried not to react to Bucky’s eye-roll.

Steve brought the drinks over, setting them down next to Karrie on the coffee table. “I’m going to let you two decide whether you’ve been body-snatched or not. Yell if he has any more simple partial seizures.” Steve’s eyes widened in Bucky’s direction in accusation. “I’m taking Athos out to be with the others.”

“Yeah, I’ll let her know what that even is. Thanks Steve.”

“Not sure if you actually meant that one or not, but you’re welcome.” Steve said as he left the room.

“So, you stood me up.” Karrie said quietly, as she sat on the couch next to Bucky when he moved and gestured an invitation.

“No, _he_ stood you up.” Bucky gestured toward the door Steve had disappeared through, “Doc’s been in and out, she says I’ll live.”

“This time? You know they’re not just being brutes, right?”

“Again I’m gonna ask who are you? and what did you do with Karrie?”

“I know. I’m acting all human and stuff.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have the strength to be in battle mode, I don’t know how you’re finding the strength to be now.”

“Horrible patient. I don’t like being tied down, it’s a thing. Probably from having a taste of freedom, all that tripe.”

“You can be angry. That’s your right. But someone told me that taking it out on the people who are helping isn’t the right application of your anger.”

“It wasn’t me, must have been your shrink.” Bucky took Karrie’s hand. “Thanks. Do me a favor? Help me by not preaching the pills for maintenance thing. I know what they want, and why they want it. I love them for it, I really do. I need someone on my side of this argument, and you’re just the kind of person to understand why I have to do this.”

“I can’t push you to do something you don’t want to do, and I won’t guilt you into it. I might even explain to them how they’re not helping, if you promise you’ll keep a low profile, and let people take care of you while you let your body and the serum do their thing. You’ve made me see that I can do a lot on my own, but I should still let people in, now it’s your turn. So, what can I do to help?”

“Got any miracle headache cures?”

“Not miraculous, but I know of a few holistic remedies.” She withdrew her hand from his and reached across the table, into her bag, pulling out a little tin. “Do you have any fragrance sensitivity?”

“I’ll refrain from what came to mind, I’m pretty sure those things aren’t in that little pot. No.”

“You were going to say something morbid.” She gestured with the tin for him to lie down, “put your head on my leg, if you’re not averse. I only have the one hand, so this could be awkward.”

After taking a deep drink of the hot tea, Bucky spread across the sofa as directed, and she started rubbing minty scented oil on his temples one at a time.

“Just relax and breathe. It’s just peppermint oil, a little lavender, and coconut oil.”

“Sounds delicious. Doesn’t smell so bad either.”

“Dizzy thinks it’s a treat. Little shit got into my bag before, mutilated the tin it was in. I wish I could say he was off duty at the time.”

“Surprised you didn’t fire him.” Bucky murmured, smiling faintly at his joke.

“I know. I haven’t given the best impression. You want to know the truth? I never told anyone about that, and I panicked when it happened, just like when he got away from me. I don’t want anyone to find out when he misbehaves. It makes me worry that someone will take him from me. I’ve heard about failed service dogs, and I…” she looked around nervously, looking for Dizzy before remembering she’d actually voluntarily left him with someone she still thought of as a stranger.

“Nobody’s going to take Dizzy from you. He’s a dog, he’s allowed a few dog moments. Is that why you’re so adamant about so many of your rules for him?”

“Don’t tell anyone.”

He might have laughed if her plea wasn’t so desperate. “It’s our secret.” He closed his eyes as her fingers moved over his forehead, smoothing the scented oil across his brow, massaging over the bridge of his nose.

“I used to be twice as good at this.” Karrie smiled at his peaceful face.

“Stop that.” He smiled a little wider this time, “it feels amazing.”

“I have to do something, to help you. I rescheduled the appointment, and I need you there. You have to get past this.”

“I know it’s hard getting those appointments, I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

“No, just call off the hounds next Tuesday. I don’t think I’ll get a third appointment as easily.”

Half asleep, Bucky looked up, “Karrie, you do realize all of the barriers you broke through today, don’t you?”

“Shut up Bucky.” She tried to summon the grumpy nature he was most familiar with, but was betrayed by a soft smile she couldn’t suppress.

“Shutting Up.” Bucky sighed, giving in to the sleep that he’d been fighting all morning – just like Karrie gave in to whatever it was to be by his side.

 


End file.
